A quick review on Conflux mythic rare, Maelstrom Angel.
Aesthetics:
Ah… Now I get it!
Previously cards like Conflux (review forthcoming) and Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker seemed very out of whack. Like I guess they can print largely impractical if aesthetically flavorful and eye-widening cards like these… But the main villain? Do you really name the set after a Constructed Unplayable?
With Maelstrom Angel, the formerly impossible becomes free!
I actually thought about this a bit today after seeing this card… Will Magic de-volve to just who can hit the other guy with a Maelstrom Angel? It seems like you can make a deck to be able to cast Maelstrom Angel and pack it with all kinds of impossible jones and hope for the best.
Can you imagine accelerating this one out then getting in there to the tune of a turn five Cruel Ultimatum? Conflux is pretty exciting, too.
Hit you with Maelstrom Angel
Play Conflux.
Hmmm… Go get Firespout, Cruel Ultimatum, Thoughtseize, Cryptic Command… and… um, Beacon of Immortality.
5/5 flying — in Black — seems like a nice recipe for something that is not going to die [easily]. The card is big and Terror-proof to start.
Where do I see this fitting in?
Wherever there are domains in play that have not done anything yet or horribly overpriced cards waiting for a mercy cast, she is there.
Snap Judgment Rating: Ever the Flagship! Even if the ship ain’t that good in the end, it wouldn’t have existed at all maybe…
A quick review on Conflux mythic rare, Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker.
Aesthetics:
Well that’s big.
I don’t know what to say other than you can really feel the majestic power of this Dragon-Planeswalker with how they’ve laid out the card. Looks great. Certainly scarier than the librarian-Dragon from the old Nicol Bolas card.
The mana is interesting. Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker is actually a slightly easier cast than Nicol Bolas version 1.0 (exchanging a U and R for 2 generic mana).
All right. All right already!
Is it any good?
In play Nicol Bolas is pretty daunting. Activating its “plus” ability puts Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker to eight loyalty, which is very hard to crack.The “minus” ability is just Control Magic. Only it’s better than Control Magic because you can’t Disenchant it. Yes, Nicol Bolas keeps his minions forever… It’s not just a Threaten. Yes, that’s pretty ridiculous. As for the “ultimate” ability, I think that you would have difficulty losing if you activated it.Interestingly, Bolas is designed to live through using the ultimate ability (5+3+3-9=2)… In fact, Nicol Bolas has one more Control Magic left in the barrel (if necessary).
So is it good?
Well that’s the thing… Not conventionally.
A Cruel Ultimatum in the same colors is cheaper and has more immediate effect on the game.
As for Planeswalkers, both Ajani Vengeant and Elspeth, Knight-Errant have similarly effective action… and they can get going much more consistently due to being half the mana cost (Ajani is only Icy Manipulator to Nicol Bolas’s Vindicate, and “only” Lightning Helix to Control Magic, but Ajani’s ultimate ability is just as automatically game-winning and nearly as destructive).
But the fact of the matter is that Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker is probably going to be one of the chase [mythic] rares of the set, and is undoubtedly powerful in play… Plus I recall being told something recently. All the Planeswalkers are meant to be good. So maybe there is a way to “cheat” Nicol Bolas into play that we haven’t seen yet. I mean, if you don’t consider the mana cost, he’s pretty insane.
Where can I see this fitting in?
I don’t think Reflecting Pool Control would necessarily play Nicol Bolas; they have a nice Grixis finisher in Cruel Ultimatum already, and you can only play so many seven or eight mana spells. However I think Planeswalkers might find a one-of spot for this guy. They have a lot of mana (some builds) and others are optimized to make Planeswalkers look good with, say, Rings of Brighthearth.
But unless there is a cheatyface way of breaking Bolas… He’s not even a role player in non-kitchen table Magic.
Snap Judgment Rating: Role Player (low)… but expensive!
I’ve only just seen it so I haven’t gotten a chance to chat about it with my Top 8 Magic compatriot BDM, but I’m sure he thinks it’s excellent, too. A few years ago he and I collaborated on a deck called Black Thumb. The concept of Black Thumb was parallel to Miracle Grow, only instead of growing your Quirion Dryad by playing card drawing and Counterspell, we grew our Dryads by manipulating our decks, destroying creatures, and tearing up the opponent’s hand.
The downside to the Black Thumb deck was that sometimes you would draw a middle turns Quirion Dryad and it would be this pointless 1/1 Green creature.
Or you would have to play a Green spell viz. Naturalize and it would not grow.
Nyxathid is very interesting as a “Quirion Dryad” given the Black Thumb model.
You are basically given a bonus of +1/+1 (upper limit of 7/7) for beating up the opponent’s hand. It doesn’t matter if you put a card in the graveyard with Raven’s Crime, on top of the opponent’s deck with Agonizing Memories, or just pretend to take it away temporarily (you know he’s getting it back) with Tidehollow Sculler… As long as his hand is nil, you have a gigantic 7/7. Draw step or so… still Dragon-sized.
If you play this card very early on turn two or three, it is a small 1/1 or 2/2. The opponent can [try to] sandbag the grip and manage the size on this guy, but that will sometimes be pointless (you go and get ’em anyway) or embarrassing.
Shock that.
“Okay.”
It’s dead.
“Actually, it’s not. You have one less card in hand now.”
If I just go ahead and concede, you’re not going to tell everyone I just did that, are you?
“Okay.”
Okay then, concede.
…
You’re still going to tell everyone, aren’t you?
“Obv.”
Well, I probably deserved it.
Aesthetics:
I’m going to go ahead and skip this section on account of I already wrote an imaginary dialogue, which is about as “aesthetic” as it gets with five minutes to go before the Cavs game.
Where can I see this fitting in?
Frankly, lots of places. This is a superb card. It is just a good creature in a Black deck that destroys the opponent’s hand, or could probably be a good sideboard card against Red Decks for mopping up attrition fights (he spends his last Shock, you go ahead and deploy your Verdant um… Thorn… oh, it’s actually an Elemental).
IT’S ACTUALLY AN ELEMENTAL?!?
That is a whole other bag of bananas, now isn’t it?
Smokebraider, Mournwhelk, this cat (err… Elemental)…
Like I said: lots of places.
Snap Judgment Rating: Staple (low) / Role Player or sideboard Role Player (high)
I just realized I can skip typing all these card jones by just pasting an image of the card (anyone who has already read the Dragonsoul Knight post can go back… It is now adorned with an image of the aforementioned Dragonsoul Knight).
Okay… Hellkite Hatchling.
Aesthetics:
This card is pretty in-line with little baby Dragon cards of times past in terms of size versus mana cost.
Some of those cards have been pretty good in the past, mind you (Dragon Whelp in Dave Price’s “Dallas 1996”-era PTQ deck, Furnace Whelp in Pat Sullivan’s Nationals deck, overcoming the Vedalken Shackles with a fist full of Seething Songs).
So what about the new kid?
This one is interesting in that it has a pretty decent upside. If you only Devour one little guy you have a 3/3 evasive creature for four mana, which is more-or-less Constructed Unplayable (Phantom Monster, et al); but if you Devour two or more little guys, you have a 4/4-ish (or bigger) Hatchling, and that’s not complete garbage.
However with no delicious Black, Green, or Red weenies meal, the card is horrendous: a 2/2 for four mana; that is, sub-Scathe Zombies in terms of efficiency.
Where can I see this fitting in?
I decided to make up a brand new label for card reviews: Puzzle Piece.
That is, this card is pretty narrow. It is probably best played (if played at all) as a compliment to a specific strategy. Like it’s not that bad if you play a Sprouting Thrinax on turn two, get in for three, then plop this guy on top of the aforementioned Thrinax, keep three powers from that fellow and upgrade to a 3/3 flying + trample Dragon.
Not bad!
Not the best, probably, but there is some synergy there.
Outside of a scenario like I just described, Hellkite Hatchling is kind of a janky creature enchantment, right? It’s a developmentally disabled Blanchwood Armor that requires a potentially heftier down payment than usual… Not horrible in the right situation (say sideboard in Green-on-Green when you basically want to get in and can hold the floor reasonably well); but probably not the best given what is being asked of you.
Just some ideas… I think the Team Token one is better than the second.
So I’m going to mix it up for the next two weeks or thereabouts and attempt to review as many of the new Conflux cards that I can.
Up first is Dragonsoul Knight.
Dragonsoul Knight
2R
Creature – Human Knight
Uncommon
First Strike
WUBRG: Until end of turn, Dragonsoul Knight becomes a Dragon, gets +5/+3, and gains flying and trample.
2/2
Aesthetics: I like the +5/+3-ness of the boost. Very “Red” … That is, more up front than in the back. Last week I read something along the lines of “You can’t mention the Gutenberg Bible without thinking of Steve.” Well in Magic, it is difficult to see a five next to a three and not think of Juggernaut. … Which wasn’t even Red, but it fits.
The aesthetics are pretty much everything this card has going for it, in Constructed at least.
In draft it is likely to be a half-step worse than a Kitsune Blademaster (which was still pretty good), and only pretty rarely going 7/5.
In Constructed decks that can actually activate this ability probably have something better to do with their mana than make a Grey Ogre-ish battler… well… at any point.
Where can I see this fitting in?
Honestly, at present… Not a heck of a lot of places. The only thing I can think of off the top of my head (though I’m sure if you have an idea you will gladly state it in the comments below!) is as a sideboard card in one of those aforementioned decks that can actually make WUBRG. Like maybe those decks are kold to an Island (they just sit and wait to Counterspell whatever saucy Reaper King-sort of mojo the WUBRG deck was setting up to make) and they want to sneak out something kind of inoffensive — perhaps under the Counterspell wall — with the long term plan of going large when they are able.
A few weeks ago I blogged about being nervous before giving a presentation in Florida.
Part of the reason I was so stressed out is because I have really wanted to steer my career in a slightly different direction for a couple of months and I considered this speaking opportunity a grand step in exactly that right direction. I ended up being a big hit, but that is neither here nor there.
The more immediate reason I was stressed out, nervous, and so on before going up was Jonathan Fields.
Jonathan used to be a big time lawyer. He had one of those six figure jobs that they train you in this country you are supposed to grow up to want to have. He worked at one of the power firms in New York, handling bazillion dollar deals.
Until his body told him to stop.
Jonathan had a radical medical condition — a growth ended up having to be removed!!! — that he interprets as his body rejecting his career path.
So he decided to go from one day being a big shot lawyer to working as a personal trainer for $12 an hour.
No, he didn’t fall on his head or anything… He was learning the ropes of the fitness world. He transitioned personal training to becoming a fitness entrepreneur, had some associated adventures along the way, until finally opening his own yoga studio in the greatest city in the world.
… On September 10th, 2001.
Yikes!
So he took the biggest financial gamble of his career — his life — right as the New York economy was crumbling under the weight of the greatest tragedy ever to occur on American soil.
But Jonathan saw this as an opportunity to open his doors — for free initially — and help the New York community heal.
I’d say there was a happy ending (because he was eventually able to grow his yoga business to a great success)… but it was not an ending at all. Jonathan recently sold his stake in the yoga studio because he wants to write, blog, and Tweet full-time.
You see, he has become a kind of career chameleon.
Kind of appropriate to the turn I want to take in my own career, kind-of.
So what was the big problem?
Jonathan was up before I was.
On the one hand, he is this wonderful, earnest, and engaging speaker. A true inspiration for anyone who wants to take his own life by the horns and steer his ship to whatever beat of whatever drummer he wants… While making a fine living! Pretty great, right?
He’s an awfully tough act to follow.
Jonathan is one of those “quality human beings” who are just so honest and well-intentioned, out there to actually help you out.
Career Renegade is not just Jonathan’s story, it’s a system that anyone can use to… well… make a great living doing what they want! Jonathan has become famous for finding bloggers who make $200,000 from their kitchen tables or guys who play video games professionally. Sound fun?
Career Renegade is brand new so I haven’t read it yet, but I hope I’ve communicated one per cent of how inspiring a speaker he is. He has poured the last couple of years of his life into this effort, and I know that if you are looking to figure out how to discover the best path for yourself — “bad economy” or not — or find out how you can happily and successfully live towards your best destiny, the $11.20 is going to be a no-brainer.
Especially in this time of economic turmoil, where the news is declaring it “the worst financial situation since the Great Depression” every night, you might want a little Career Renegade in your back pocket.
I’ll write a more proper review of the book once I’ve actually read it, but Jonathan Fields? The guy, the speaker, the Renegade has my highest recommendation.
Following are more-or-less my five favorite songs. One of them isn’t even sung by a chick!
My daughter has a playlist on my YouTube Channel. If you want to watch it, it’s called Bella’s Superheroes. It’s basically Spider-Man fighting Ryu and so on… screen captures of guys playing Street Fighter.
But I have another playlist of awesome songs that I often watch / listen to at work. My daughter really likes music and has eerily superb taste for a four-year-old. She was rocking out to Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley and my wife happened by while Bella was strumming air guitar and leaping from this huge wooden stool onto the living room carpet.
“You know, Mommy think’s that’s Mommy’s favorite song,” she said.
Bella just kept bopping air guitar (she says her favorite song is Into the Groove by Madonna, but I think she likes So What by P!nk the best).
You know… Even the best, closest, couples have rough patches once in a while. But overhearing that thing about Portions for Foxes being K’s favorite song… it was just one of the infinite tiny things that occur, unheralded, in a marriage that remind you you’re connected to the right person.
#1 Portions for Foxes by Rilo Kiley
This song has the absolute best opening line of any song, ever:
“There’s blood in my mouth / ’cause I’ve been biting my tounge all week…”
So good.
#2 Special by Garbage
This is a song that reminds me of my first summer in New York City. We only had like three MP3s back then… This was one of them. Shirley Manson is so hot.
#3 The Touch by Stan Bush
If you don’t know how I feel about this song, I suggest you read this. At the very least it’s the only blog post I’ve ever written whereby my readers have stated that I 1) I restored his faith in humanity, or 2) made a grown man cry tears of joy… Plus you should probably shotgun a tee shirt (I got two for Christmas! Go me!).
#4 As Cool As I Am by Dar Williams
I have only ever bought the album they were playing in the record store two times. The first time they were playing this song. I later remembered that I had heard it before, road tripping up and down New Jersey for a week in-between a family vacation and Pro Tour New York 1997. Dar Williams eventually grew into my favorite solo artist. I still feel like she is the finest songwriter to use the English language. I don’t know if this is my absolute favorite Dar song (probably not, actually)… but it is the one that made me fall in love with her.
I opened that PT with wins over Aaron Muranaka (Top 8 at PT Atlanta earlier that year) and Rob Dougherty (Hall of Fame)… and then didn’t make day two. Typical.
#5 He’s Gone by Leona Naess
I dunno if this one will stick forever, but right now I find myself playing this video over and over and over (just ask anyone walking past my office). I take a fair number of musical cues from Josh Ravitz… He was the one who introduced me to Rilo Kiley (my favorite band), for instance. A few weeks ago at the office he asked me if I knew this song, and… Well one thing led to another and I just run Leona at least four times a day.
It’s a bit late to do a Shards of Alara Constructed review, but it’s never too late to speculate about cards that, you know, might get played. This is just a short list of musings on some Shards of Alara cards that would probably rank as low Role Players. But hey… Not many would have thought that Gnarled Mass or Tallowisp would be key centerpieces to competitive decks 🙂
Deathgreeter
Deathgreeter is an interesting card that I have seen in some Constructed decks recently (usually tokens decks, next to Nantuko Husk, &c.). Yeah, Deathgreeter certainly raises an eyebrow, but…Ă‚Â The text on this card is pretty similar to another 1/1 for B: Disciple of the Vault.
So why was Disciple of the Vault ban-able in multiple formats whereas Deathgreeter is a corner case? Well, Deathgreeter is probably just less powerful in general than a card on the order of Soul Warden or Essence Warden… It’s a sequence thing, but the Warden sisters probably have more singular upside.
Additionally, there is a clear terminus to what Disciple of the Vault ever has to do: 20. Deathgreeter can be “effective” and at the same time have no appreciable effect on the game.
Still… something worth thinking about, especially in this color, at this cost.
Call to Heel
Call to Heel is very versatile. It seems like a card that you generally want to play on your own Mulldrifter, but that you can live with playing against your opponent’s oncoming threat (hopefully not a Nucklavee).
There is a lot of upside to this card when you play it on your own creature… kind of like a Momentary Blink, but you need to pay mana to re-play your creatures, which may or may not be relevant as a specific game develops. The beauty of the card is that you can play it against anybody, unlike a Momentary Blink (even if that seems like an ugly option most of the time).
Compare with Turn to Mist, a card that was a decent two-of sideboard card in some decks but never a four-of main deck card. Like Turn to Mist, Call to Heel has a lot of play to it, a lot of “maybe this will go right” even if it does not go in everywhere.
Call to Heel seems like it would be more effective when you are playing a matchup where the opponent can’t really disrupt your ability to generate incremental advantages, especially when the opponent is likely to tap out on his own turn.
Necrogenesis
Paul Jordan tried to get me to play this right before States. It is actually pretty good. Necrogenesis is absolutely insane against Makeshift Mannequin (obviously). One of these can take at least a little starch out of a Cruel Ultimatum, and it is no fun for Unearth-based strategies or any kind of reanimation. Best yet, Necrogenesis is pretty cheap to get into play.
Definitely something worth trying in the sideboard, depending on the metagame.
Steward of Valeron
How awkward is this?
Turn three, attack with my Steward. Post combat, Wilt-Leaf Liege.
Awk, am I right?
I’d play it for sure.
Corpse Connoisseur
Here is another card that Paul Jordan suggested to me recently. I dismissed Corpse Connoisseur initially, but I think I was overly harsh. This card is kind of Entomb-ish.
Think about sending Squee, Goblin Nabob into the graveyard with Corpse Connoisseur… It’s like free card advantage, sort of. Or, you can keep getting more and more Corpse Connoisseurs and Unearth cards. A couple of Sedraxis Specters main might actually be a party!
UFC 91 Presented by Gears of War 2 – Lesnar v. Couture
I haven’t bought a UFC fight in years. I am a big fan — I watch The Ultimate Fighter every week — but I mostly watch UFC on DVD. But I couldn’t miss the return of Randy Couture, who is one of my favorite fighters.
10:14 – Middleweight bout
Demian Maia (9-0, 31) v. Nate Quarry (16-2, 36)
I didn’t know anything about either of these guys coming into the fight but here is a super quick summary based on the pre-fight promos:
Quarry was a popular member of the original Ultimate Fighter cast. He was out for two years with serious back injuries but won two in a row since his comeback; he is looking to make it three in a row.
Demian Maia is a ridiculous 9-0 in MMA and one of the most technical and sharp jiu-jitsu fighters in the world. I noticed the Axe Murderer Wanderlei Silva in Demian’s corner.
Quarry is an unorthodox striker with big hands. Like I said I don’t know much about these fighters but they say that Quarry has good takedown defense and it seems unlikely (based on Maia’s record and background) that Quarry wants to go grappling.
Maia comes out striking; it looks kind of sloppy to me, but…
All of a sudden Quarry has Maia in a queer kind of arm lock.
Maia is on top inside of 30 seconds; Quarry still has an arm but before I can finish typing the sentence Maia is in full mount. For those of you who don’t know fight-speak that means Demian is on top and has his legs on the outside (rather than being enveloped by the legs of the man on the ground); this is generally considered the dominant position on the ground.
Maia is tremendously talented on the ground… Quarry gives up his back inside of 1 minute. For those of you who don’t follow fighting, this basically means that he is no longer facing Demian and Maia can strangle him at will — possibly the worst position you can be in against a trained jiu-jitsu fighter.
Unsurprisingly, this already looks desperate. Body lock – Maia is just pounding on the side of Quarry’s head… all kinds of blunt strikes against Nate’s noggin. He isn’t in any kind of a rush.
Nate is in a really rough spot… He’s just using his hands to keep Demian’s hands off of his face so he can’t disrupt his breathing, but Demian has all the control.
At best Quarry can fight for 3 minutes to prolong to second round…
Nope. The choke out is inevitable at 2:13.
Heavyweight bout
Gabriel Gonzaga (9-3, 29) v. Josh Hendricks (18-4-1, 32)
I don’t know anything about Hendricks, but I’d root for him for a couple of reasons; he is from Ohio (like me), plus he was Captain America’s training partner setting up for the main event against The Next Big Thing. Hendricks was a two-time All-American in rasslin’ and is riding an eleven fight win streak.
However I really respect Gabriel Gonzaga. I’ve seen Gonzaga fight a couple of times. The first one was a head kick that put away Mirko Cro Cop… kind of a kick that rocked the world for MMA fans; the other fight was of course the heavyweight title bout against Randy Couture where he broke Randy’s arm… but Randy still won. By the way how insane is Randy Couture? Twentysomething 250+ monster Gabriel Gonzaga broke his arm and Randy knocked him out WITH THE SAME DAMN ARM. That man is why I bought this Pay-Per-View.
These two huge fighters tap gloves.
Wrestler and jiu-jitsu black belt… Predictably clinch almost instantaneously.
Wow they are big strong bulls. Everything about how they move is heavy… big heavy hands from both sides.
Gonzaga has a hold of Josh’s head for a second but it doesn’t last. Then Gonzaga is landing kicks.
One minute.
WTF? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
One minute?
Don’t blink I guess!
Gonzaga set Hendricks up with a knee then hammered Josh in the head with a big fist. Josh dropped but the ref didn’t stop the fight [yet]. Gonzaga drops a second vicious head punch with Josh on the ground and they call it.
In the post-fight, Gonzaga predicts a Couture win, so he agrees with me (and apparently 61% of the fans) rather than the casinos 🙂
10:38 – Welterweight Fight
Round One
They didn’t do a lot of pre-fight on this one. So I don’t know anything about either of them except for the fact that one of them has CondomDepot.com on his butt and the other is wearing white trunks.
CondomDepot.com guy seems to be taking a beating… Impressive strikes from White Trunks.
White Trunks is landing a ton of nice — if light — blows, including head strikes and knees to the body.
Wow! White Trunks is foot stomping, too. I respect a foot stomp. Really good strategy.
Okay. CondomDepot.com guy seems to have hit a second wind. He goes for a submission… Misses it… Switches to a different submission.
These guys are really going for it. I wish I knew what their names are so I could give them props.
Wow CondomDepot.com guy has just nuked White Trunks with a beautiful elbow from the bottom.
Reversal – CondomDepot.com guy is on top but he is not really in control. This is almost certainly going to the second round.
Wow, there might be a mistake here. White Trunks is in a choke… Can he last the last 20 second? Never mind – he’s out.
I would give Round One to White Trunks but CondomDepot.com was fabulous on defense and really came out at the end of the round; I can see a judge voting for him.
Round Two
White Trunks looks tanked. Lots of sloppy strikes and takedown attempts. White Trunks seems like he hits the takedown but CondomDepot.com is better on the ground and has his arm locked.
White Trunks has the perfect defense — this is something Teddy Card Game used to talk about — and kind of like Matt Hughes anti-jiu-jitsu defense; he is slamming CondomDepot.com on his head once, twice. Wow! CondomDepot.com is not letting go. That’s bad news for White Trunks. CondomDepot.com is not letting go. Yep. That’s it. Submission by armbar.
CondomDepot.com wins!
10:49 – Welterweight bout
Tamdan McCrory (22, 11-1) v. Dustin Hazelett (22, 13-4)
Dustin Hazelett is a newly-minted jiu-jitsu black belt.
Tamdan is how shall I say this… handsome. He looks really nice with his spectacles. However with his shirt off he has lot of tattoos, so ultimately not my type.
McCrory thinks he has a wrestling advantage but I don’t see how that’s possible if Hazelett’s black belt is legitimate.
Hazelett has a gigantic beard. Katherine can’t believe that he is going into the octagon sporting that.
So on merit of his black belt I think Hazelett is ahead but he is definitely behind on the beard v. cute glasses metric.
They tap gloves. McCrory comes out looking like one hundred times the striker that Hazelett is. His fists are lightning.
What is this? Hazelett stuns McCrory and Dustin literally flies across the ring in an attempt to hit a Sagat-like flying knee… but Tamdan is out of the way, robbing Dustin of the nod on Sportscenter.
Tamdan tries a head kick… glances.
These guys are both skyscrapers by the way, 6’1 and 6’4.
Tamdan is launching big kicks. They really look like they hurt. You can hear the weight behind them.
Wow! Hazelett just hit Tamdan on the jaw… stunned him but Tamdan keeps getting out of the way before he can capitalize.
I keep saying that Tamdan is the more impressive striker but Hazelett seems to be the one actually LANDING the better hits; he’s rocked McCrory at least three times.
For good grapplers, one of which is a jiu-jitsu black belt, no one is going for anything on the ground.
Dustin misses a huge head kick… but the follow-through seems to turn the miss into a ground submission!?!
Okay, now it’s on the ground. Let’s see how that jiu-jitsu prediction holds up… Hazelett has a decent leg hold on Tamdan’s right arm but Tamdan isn’t really in a spot to lose, at least not immediately. Hazelett is rubber. He is Plastic Man. His legs are like BJ Penn’s.
It looks like Tamdan is going to try to stall out the clock… just not losing, but Hazelett is not going to let that happen.
Yep, black belt wins with a crazy arm submission. Hazelett actually looks fantastic in the finish. His legs are like some kind of insane pretzel. I don’t know if he is actually BJ Penn class but he LOOKS very good… This one is going to go to the highlight reel.
I am skipping an undercard lightweight bout for a bio break. BRB.
Okay I am going to chat a little about Randy v. Brock — tonight’s big fight — during this excellent lightweight fight.
It looked to me when they brought Brock Lesnar into the UFC that they were giving him a soft match with Frank Mir. In fact, if you saw the fight, Lesnar came out destroying Mir with superior strength and striking. However he hit Frank illegally and the ref separated them. Brock was simply not used to a jiu-jitsu black belt, though, and the reversal was instantaneous. Brock was hitting Frank harder than I had seen anyone hit in a long time, but all of a sudden, Frank had him in a submission, ending the fight in the first round.
Randy Couture is the kind of guy who is “used to” fighting bigger, stronger, faster… and YOUNGER fighters. However he is not a jiu-jitsu fighter. I don’t know that Randy is going to be able to pull out a surprise submission on a guy with Brock’s physical ability.
But at the same time, Randy beat Gabriel Gonzaga WITH A BROKEN ARM. He literally knocked him out WITH that broken arm. Randy Couture is not human. At 45, he is the big reason that this is probably the biggest PPV buy the UFC has ever seen. Randy hasn’t fought since that fight. Despite multiple fights against Chuck Liddell, they are billing tonight’s fight as the biggest challenge of Couture’s career.
So who is going to win?
I am picking Randy.
Vegas is picking Brock.
Why am I picking the former retiree, who is more than a decade older than the blond phenom he will be facing? Because Randy Couture has made a career of defying the odds.
I think Brock is going to come out with a ton of energy, and that Randy is going to try to weather the assault and pull the fight to deep rounds, where his cardio can overcome Lesnar’s obvious size advantage.
I think that many buyers — and I am in this crowd — just want to see Couture’s strategy, and HOW — win or lose — he approaches beating Brock Lesnar.
Okay, back to live fights…
11:23 – Lightweight bout (co-main event)
Kenny Florian (32, 12-3) v. Joe Stevenson (26, 34-8)
I have seen Joe Stevenson fight once… But it was against my favorite fighter BJ Penn; Joe was utterly destroyed. Nothing against Stevenson… just the only time I’ve seen him fight.
I have seen Kenny Florian fight several times but I can’t really remember any of them. I think they ware both jiu-jitsu black belts — which is amazing — but they say that Florian is the more impressive striker. Florian is six years older than Stevenson but has a huge height and reach advantage.
The winner of this fight is probably going to get a shot at BJ Penn (even though BJ is moving up in weight class to challenge Georges St. Pierre at Welterweight… probably going to buy that by the way).
By the way I don’t know how this is actually the co-main event.
Lightweights are so much more mobile an faster. You immediately see them dance… it is so different from heavyweights or even welterweights
Stevenson throws bigger punches. These are big hooks but they are not really landing.
Florian’s kicks are just off the charts.
Stevenson is on the attack, and gets Kenny on the chin… He is trying to corner him.
It’s hard to see who is winning, but Kenny is against the side of the octagon. Both seem to be jockeying for position with dirty kicks, &c.
Joe went for a big slam but Kenny grabs the fence to break it up. Very nice strategy. Heh. Kenny just got a warning from the ref for grabbing the fence (if he does it AGAIN it will be a point deduction) but hey, he didn’t get slammed to death.
Okay… Nice boxing from Florian; nice jabs.
Stevenson hits hard but he is sloppy. Florian is just a much better striker.
Boom! Kenny slams Joe down to the mat.
BIG fists.
Kenny takes the mount!
Yeah… Joe is done.
BIg punch. Big Punch. BIG PUNCH… Full choke.
Kenny just earned a shot against BJ Penn.
Okay… here is the fight we have all been waiting for!
11:42 – Heavyweight title bout
Randy Couture (45, 16-8) v. Brock Lesnar (31, 2-1)
The crazy thing about Randy Couture is that he spent a big part of his career at Light Heavyweight. He beat Tito Ortiz and won a title over Chuck Liddell at Light Heavyweight. Randy quit heavyweight because he was too small.
Yet he came out of retirement to steal the heavyweight title.
FYI Brock was the NCAA rasslin’ champion. He is SO big. Yet undeniably quick on his feet.
Yet with a 45 lb. weight disadvantage, 54% of the fans are picking Randy over Brock… I’m one of them.
Randy is going to focus on avoiding Brock, hitting without being hit. Did I mention how big Brock is?
Brock just said “You’re just too damn old to be here.”
Randy is 45 years old… but “time is just a number.” He has a gigantic grin on his face. The people love Randy. I love Randy.
The crowd boos Brock, loves Couture. Man is Brock big.
Okay, let’s go.
Round One
Brock is basically a gigantic gorilla. It’s almost comical seeing them in the ring together. They don’t even seem like they are in the same weight class.
Brock opens up with knees.
Randy pushes Brock to the fence.
Brock is sending knees again.
Randy is SO much smaller.
The crowd is firmly behind Couture.
RAN-DEE
RAN-DEE
Brock with these knees again. All knees.
Nice! Randy rocks Brock with a right hand.
But Brock’s hands are huge.
Okay! Here comes Brock with a spear…
Fail!
They are up against the fence. Brock accomplishes a takedown.
Randy snakes a half guard, holding Brock’s neck simultaneously.
Brock mounts… But Randy is out!
Randy has Brock’s back!
Only for a moment.
Now Brock mounts… Nope, Randy’s half guard again.
The last 30 seconds have been slippery.
Randy is holding Brock’s head and hitting Brock in the side… but they are nothing to write home about.
Yet he is not going to let Brock get an advantage.
Brock has some big punches.
… Randy only has to survive for a minute (this round is feeling interminable)
Uh oh!
Wow, Randy is out again.
Randy stands up and the crowd roars.
Randy escaped Brock’s ground game with minimal damage.
Randy has some momentum now… but is still small compared to Brock.
Randy is priming for a takedown. This is unbelievable.
Okay, whistle.
Great first round… It looked scary for Randy a couple of spots but he kept his cool. I don’t know if you definitely give it to Brock. I don’t know how much the judges consider the weight disadvantage and Randy’s honest attempts on offense.
The crowd still knows who they love.
RAN-DEE
RAN-DEE
RAN-DEE
Round Two
Brock opens the round with a nice jab. Follows up with an elbow that gives Randy he wobbly knees.
Randy quickly pushes Brock to the fence to buy time and recover.
Brock looks like he hit Randy in the back of the head, but no complaints so far.
Brock is SO BIG.
He is hitting a few knees.
Randy answers with two solid strikes to the head.
Pow! Randy cuts Brock over the right eye. Can Randy expoit this?
Damn. Brock keeps connecting.
… But Randy has the cut.
Randy defends Brock’s spear takedown AGAIN. My heart is racing.
Randy is actually tring to take Brock down.
Wow. How long can Randy absorb Brock’s punches?
Yep. Brock nails a gigantic fist and stuns Randy – Now it’s 100 hammer fists.
Brock is literally all over him.
The ref lets Randy take quite a few strikes before stopping it; he was giving Randy a chance to get out from under Brock’s attack.
… And Brock is the new champ.
Randy initially looked pretty steamed but he is smiling as they announce the loss.
The entire room is boo-ing Brock.
“That’s just a big son of a bitch. That’s all there is to it!”
The people still love him. It’s more-or-less over at 12:12.
Well, I was pretty disappointed by the finish. Randy was cryptic about his future (will he retire again questions)… He says he is getting BETTER as a fighter. I guess we’ll just have to see.
Anyway, that was my UFC 91.
So how many of you out there were heartbroken at Brock Lesnar’s victory?
All Conflux
is out on Amazon now.